Bicky about Quombs

Ok, im leaving tomorrow morning early for Denmark and so i'm soon to go to sleep, but i thought you should know, straight from the horse's mouth about the latest terrorist attack in my haggard country.

Hundred of people died.

Oops, no actually, that was hyperbole, vasco-style. No one died luckily, but a car-bomb did actually go off at Glasgow airport. Blew up right at the entrance. Big jeep grand cherokee (fat american car) engulfed in a pillar of flame. People ran away as it drove AT the airport terminal and so no one was immediately injured, also because the would-be terrorists were bumbling fools.

As soon as the pillar of flame went up, two "asians" were seen falling out of the car, partly on fire (and i mean that literally, not as a colloquial honorific for their kickassitude). As soon as these people fell out of the car, i'm sure it was easily apparent why they chose a bad airport to bomb - scotsmen don't take kindly to being the subject of even an attempted terrorist attack. Eye-witnesses were said to have beaten the two flaming men to a pulp before the police could restrain them. The police are now questioning them, connecting this incident to those in london recently. One of the men was found with a "suicide belt", allegedly.

Anyway, this is all a bit exciting seeing as i am flying from stansted to Denmark tomorrow, for Roskilde. This just reminds me of what happened last year, with me and Nat in amsterdam; the morning our flight leaves, there's the attempted liquid bombings. I reckon these terrorists are actually just trying to disrupt my travel itinerary. Those bastards.

Anyway, see you soon, perhaps ill update from Roskilde. Either way, i just have one thing to say:

FUCK WE GET OUR RESULTS SOON

and with that, i bid you toodle-oo

Filipa was here

*Small pause when filliIng your lungs with air for doing CPR*
*Read this as if you'd have said it all, during that small breathing pause*:

I just wish Filipa would still be alive for telling you how fucking everything the party fucking was.
She got home by taxi at 4 i think. I arrived at 730. I is much sober now. I did enjoy fresh marrocan ciagerretes that just improved our social, personal and mind and body effects condition.
I cant remember too well but it was fucking great. My mate told me that about 200 different people went to the party(perhaps he exagerated a bit..really dunno!) he party was good...flilpa will tell you details after i finish off the CPR.


*Lungs filled, Proceed with CPR*

ps.: Hope not to piss off the virgin menstruated swedish disgusting nun, Ted.
ps.s.s: I miss you Ted. And you all as well.(Gabriel if you read this...lose your hopes...I do not miss you. Sorry for being so harsh

Astronaut drove without a nappy

Haha! Aftenposten used to be my favourite source for humouralism, but BBC is fast catching up.

A former US astronaut accused of trying to kidnap a love rival did not wear a nappy during her long drive to confront the other woman, her lawyer says.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6255602.stm

Check this piece out. :)

Back in the sunshine

Hello people...

finally, I'm back to Italy! Landed here yesterday afternoon at 13:40 and arrived home at 18:00 after a long trip in the heat fighting with my dad because he wouldn't let me drive. Eventually, I won and I drove!

I was in Copenhagen for a couple of days with Aili (who's here with me now) and we met up with Aske, Sara (and her sister)and Nashfa in a cafè somewhere in the middle of the city where you could smoke water-pipe and obviously drink. It was cool, I think it's the one Jon told me (I don't know if he did the same with you) about.

One bad thing has happened: my mum destroyed my attic! She removed everything that was in there (apart form the sofa and the dead computer). Furthermore she painted the wall yellow and the ceiling light blue (do you think that is normal?!?!), and she hang some old pictures of myself and my sister. You can't imagine how sad this is. but it'll come back to its normal shape.

Here not much is going on: people are killing one another as usual, in a daily routine; the heat is killing some people, usually old ones; in politics they're fighting as usual and not getting anywhere...oh, one cool piece of news: the run over the wife of the President of the Republic outside their house (which his the palace up the Quirinale in Rome). She was walking out for some reasons without body guards as she doesn't want security around her to preserve a normal life despite being the wife of the President but she was run over by a car. Obviously the accident was not planned, it wasn't any terroristic act or anything similar, and she only got, fortunately for her, a broken shoulder and a fractured leg.

ok, I'm off now.

farewell

Häst.

Everything you could possibly want to know about Gordon Brown

So, what with a new prime minister that no one voted for and all that. I decided to do a little research, ask around, gauge public opinion (at the pub) and write down for you guys, as your loyal British Correspondent, what's what with the new leader of the United Kingdom of the British Isles and Northern Ireland. Apologies for length. Here we go:

☼ Upon entering university suffered from a detached retina, is blind in one eye, 30% vision in other. Friends say this made him more determined and driven as a person

☼ Went to Edinburgh at 16, got a first class honours degree (top top top degree only one person gets a year).

☼ Was part of an academic experiment for gifted children

☼ Never disapproved of heavy joint-smoking or bonking at university but didn’t indulge himself.

☼ Became rector at the age of 20 (usually given to a show business star like Peter Ustinov) after a political campaign involving girls in miniskirts. Oh how apt.

☼ Liked power a lot. Freaked out university board by his hunger.

☼ Had a serious love-affair with a Romanian princess who was 81^st in line to the british throne (if 81 people died, Brown would have been Queen Consort, like the Duke of Edinburgh now is) Despite being madly in love with him, they broke up with her quoted as saying it was all “politics politics politics” with him. What an idiot.

☼ In 1975, he made a big splash with The Red Paper for Scotland, a collection of essays on the country's political future, in which he called for "a positive commitment to creating a socialist society". Surprising for a man that brought his own brand of “Turbo-Thatcherism” to the UK, bringing decadent, traditionalist indulgence in wealth rather than belt-tightening, higher taxes and better welfare.

☼ Brown and blair were great buddies, always together, going on foreign trips together, writing each others’ speeches. In the early days the budget (made by the chancellor of the exchequer, the post that Brown occupied FOR TEN YEARS before his recent rise to prime minister) set the tone for the party’s direction and he made some major economic reforms such as making the Bank of England independent.

☼ Brown was the intellectual heavyweight and Blair was the smiley camera-lover. Brown had roots in the Labour party’s origins, Blair had roots in spin and his chameleon-like ability to change colour to fit the mood of the nation; “ooh do people not like Russia today? Right, I’ll make sure I say they’re all nobcheeses on morning TV and remind everyone of how I always thought they were nobcheeses and am very glad people see things my way finally because I’m so fucking clever.” Brown is considered to be the one that tutored Blair in this skill.

☼ Over the last 7 years Blair and Brown disliked each other intensely, with political satirists always painting Brown to be the covetous, conniving, dour Scotsman who lived next door to the lying, impish Blair, always plotting his way into no. 10. (The Chancellor, traditionally, does live next door to the PM on Downing Street). Their relationship was publicly known to be quite a sour one.

☼ Important thing to remember? He’s very Scottish. Hard to really convey what traits a Scotsman stereotypically has, but its strangely akin to West Norwegian ideals we’ve seen at college. But generally far less wealthy. He was also the son of a Church of Scotland clergyman, and has been quoted as describing that background as the source of his moral compass. But he is very secular in comparison with the now-catholic Blair. Hopefully he wont describe the Iraq war as a “crusade” like his moronic predecessor did.

☼ Blair saw it as his destiny that he should bring the UK into the Euro. Brown wrested control from no.10 and devised 5 economic tests that must be passed before the UK could safely acquiesce to joining the single European currency. This, in my opinion, cleverly evaded what would have been an economic disaster for England without causing too much hassle and being backed up by obvious common sense. It did, however, piss off Blair. So good idea all round.

☼ He’s not good in front of a camera, his smiles look forced even when he is constantly reminded to deliver them.

☼ Brown saved Blair’s career as PM over the commons vote on university top-up fees. Blair would have had to resign if the vote had gone against him, but at the last minute Brown pulled his strings and his followers, his backbenchers, swung the vote for Blair, providing him with a win by just 5 votes (out of 646).

☼ He is pro-america, but not as much as Blair, having more friends in the Democratic party than Republican. He is pro-europe, but from a practical and economical, rather than integrationist or cultural viewpoint.

☼ He’s following the current plan of moving Iraq into an endgame and plugging more and more troops into the leaky bloodbath that is Afghanistan.

☼ Brown doesn’t care about the Middle East as much as Blair (probably why Blair is now becoming the Middle East Envoy). On a visit to Israel and the Palestinian territories in 2005, he got Israeli and Palestinian economic ministers together for the first time in many years.

☼ The appointment of Simon McDonald, a former British ambassador to Israel, as his foreign policy adviser has delighted the Israelis, who see McDonald as "friend of Israel". So that’s why Moses likes him

☼ In foreign policy he likes to follow the UN and not overstep the obvious boundaries of being but one European country with appropriate limited power.

☼ He wants Turkey into the EU, more support for industry, farm reform, agrees with Sarkozy, does not want to be a major player though, don’t think of Britain as becoming a Continental Nation just yet, oh no, he wants to stay pragmatic, free-market, and to an extent independent. But he is no idiot when it comes to the obvious market advantages of the Union.

☼ He is jumping on the Global Warming bandwagon at full-tilt with the appointment of Al Gore as a policy advisor. Party members foresee clashes with Bush on this issue.

☼ He wants to get Britain closer to the commonwealth, increasing British aid, in real terms, over 140% since 1997, to nearly £6.5 billion.

Any questions? Ask me.

50 cents

In five minutes i'll be off to buy a stoner clobber. Some nice trippy clothes and shit!

Yesterday I spent the best 50 cents in the whole world!!! At the fair there is a big fucking tent in at which one pays 50 cents, goes in and is given the chance to try out about 30 different bottles of wine. After those 30...one is wuite tipsy... and the wine was pretty good!!! Moreover all sorts of protuguese voluptuous cuisine was available to be tried - It was excellent. went with my best friend and we spent an hour there just commenting about the wines and the food- I fucking loved it.

Starting on fridays I am having parties everyday until next friday.

I'm currently happier than a latin american kid.

My use of psychotropic substances has reduced to pretty much zero. I would smoke a spliff if a mate of mine wishes to do so with my company.

Moreover I would like to say that for quite a while now I have been trying to develop a mthod for actor training. The inspiration came one day when i was sitting at a table of a cafe chain smokeing marrocan fags and drinking absynth. I sudenly started thinking about theatre absorbed in that tornado of of different peaks due to the psychotropic ingestion. I then though about it for like 2 hours then freaked out afraid to lose it all and stole a newspaper from a man and borrowed a pen from the cafe owner. Then wrote for 2 hours about it.
I'm trying to develop it propperly now, been trying it out with some portuguese plays. Once finished off to pete it shall go.

Going now guys.

peace to all

You know what they say...

...about british weather....

It's true.

It's the 27th of July and we have over 140 flood warnings all around the UK. This has been a compound problem from lots and lots of rain, baked earth facilitating water run-off and not absorption and all the tears shed for our beloved Prime Minister who will be replaced like a blown fuse by tomorrow morning. The latter may be a pile of bollocks. Heavy flooding everywhere and almost perpetual rainfall have led me to the conclusion:

Get me out of here.


One happy thought. How has the British Government thought to deal with this evil terr- diluvian foe? Well, they commissioned a team to look into it. What did they decide was the reason for all this? Increased sheep size in scotland. Bigger sheep means bigger hooves. Bigger hooves means more earth is trampled underneath them and compacted, thereby making it less absorbent and simply running into channels and eventually leading to flooding. The interviewer (heard this on the radio) offered "so it had nothing to do with climate change?". The reply - "oh...well...yes...nowadays most scientists believe in climate change and so do we, we are scientists. Now, back to the sheep..."

hahahahhahahahahahha my country sucks