Fiskekake.

Badabing. This post is mainly going to be about the phenomenon "fiskekake." First; what does it mean? Fisk=fish, kake=cake, so directly translated, it means fish cake. Fish is a kind of animal that lives in the ocean. They swim around, and think they're special cos they have gills. Scientists and people who know more than me also think they're special cos they have gills or cos they don't have hair. Of course what I mean is that they are a paraphyletic group, duh. Cake, in this context, is a a flattened, usually round mass of food that is baked or fried. The word comes from the Old Norse "kaka;" being totally irrelevant to this text.

Now, in Norway there are regulations concerning sausages. Who cares when we are talking about fish, you might say. Well, for a start I do. Besides, this is in fact relevant. For a sausage to be called a meat sausage, it needs to contain a certain percentage of actual meat, and not substitutes and other nastities.

Now; most of you have been subjected to the pain induced by the serving of fish cakes in the canteen of Red Cross Nordic United World College. What I will proceed to argue, is that those weren't actually fish cakes. If the same rules as for sausages applied when dealing with fish, I am sure the "fish cakes" we got in college would be called cardboard cakes with fish taste or the like. In other words, there was/is/won't be any fish in those cakes. They stink. And they taste like dung.

You should then understand that when I heard we were having fish cakes for dinner today, I quite naturally reacted with disgust, only barely managing not to ask my mum if she wanted to cook pasta; a gesture devoid of etiquette, seeing the fact that she was cooking the cakes. So, only giving out a slight, negligible sigh, I accepted my gastronomical fate for today. Fair enough.

Now comes the astonishing part. In fact, that's even too mild a word; it was blatantly amazing; in the verge of being blindingly beautiful! They were actually tasty. I couldn't believe it. I was enjoying a meal of fish cakes, something I estimate it must have been 14 years ago since I last did.

In any case, the reason is quite clear. In these cakes, there wasn't only fish, but in fact catfish. In this instance, applying the initial procedure of analysis will not bring success; it is not a cat crossed with a fish. Rather it's one mean looking devil;

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seawolf_%28fish%29


It even goes under the name of Seawolf. That kicks so much ass. And think of all the ass-kickage that then resides within one of those fish cakes, and how that will absorb directly in the person who eats such a cake! Sensational; I might begin kicking even MORE ass. That sounds unbelievable, just because one should think I couldn't attain more ass-kickage, but behold! Perhaps it is in fact plausible, and I shall overtake God.

Anyway. That's not the issue. The issue is that not only did the cakes contain fish, they contained tasty fish. They were nice. Once again I am amazed at how the canteen staff manage to mess up even the easiest things like fiskekake or saft... Idiots.

I rock.
Poléo