I must be terribly wrong to think that you've all been anxious and worried about my sign on/enrolment for National Service, and that you're all eager to hear about how it went, but frankly, my dears, I don't give a damn; I am going tell you anyway, because it is the only thing I feel like writing about in this blog (a blog that for each day that passes looks more and more like a stream of bat piss, [and do not think that I am as bold as to claim that I am doing anything to make it more interesting]) right now.
To tell you the truth, Nat came quite close to the facts when he said that my disadvantageous appearance would be enough for the test crew to send me back home; after three minutes, not more, with the nurse, I was sent home. Dammit, I had barely entered her office before she was like "Yo! Stop right there." Now - to be serious; that I am seasonally plagued by something called hay fever, and that I give as much for the military as I do for wanking on cinnamonbuns with a bunch of other guys for an entire year in a Swedish northern, empty landscape - without the appeal of that essential beauty of isolated objects and colours of immense brightness - where the sun never rises, was enough for them to write me off - just like that.
I am not, in other words, going to the military and I am fine with that.
Faithfully,
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2 comments:
People here could think about your situation in 2 different ways.
First: That you had some seriously brute sex with the nurse and got away(not bad actually)
or
Second: Put a big amount of money inside you vaccinations booklet.
*whips index finger against thumb and middle finger in the colloquially-recognised gesticulation of content concurrance*
Wicked.
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